saudade de portugal

this journal post has nothing to do with pottery but me missing a land far away. recently with spending time with my mom, who is portuguese, then going to a concert shortly after, of an artist, who is also portuguese gave me saudade. its not the exact meaning but saudade is familiar to nostalgia, a feeling of longing for something and someone. its a word hard to translate to in english because it holds more than just its closest english translation of nostalgia. the concert i went to was maro at the marquis in downtown denver, and she played a beautiful concert. she made me long for that portuguese connection i dont quite have living here.

you see living in denver there is little of portuguese culture here, especially having moved from toronto where a whole portuguese community lies, robust and vibrant. toronto has little portugal, along with bakeries, restaurants, stores, you name it. many places are portuguese based or inspired. denver, well, its lacking in that area, don't get me wrong, i see glimpses especially with my brazilian compatriots, and sometimes even at other country based shops and restaurants or things. have you tried reunion's pastel de nata? they are venezuelan based, and they simply call it a nata. well its a portuguese custard tart, and it might be the best i've ever had, and i've been to portugal more times than i can count.

anyways, what i am trying to convey is sometimes i feel disconnected from portugal having moved here. denver is beautiful and i love it so much, but i sometimes feel like i am the only portuguese person around. i know its not true, i just have yet to find a portuguese pal, but it felt true at maro's concert. she asked the audience if there were any portuguese people in the crowd, and only i and one woman whooped in a small crowd, but the other woman said she was not from denver and traveled to see her. so while i was pleased so many people knew maro and came to see her, i felt a little alone, like ah maybe my fellow portuguese in the crowd are just being quiet, but if they aren't and i truly am the only one, it was still nice, even if for a moment to have a few portuguese in the room (even if it was mostly maro and the band haha).

but it did make me think about portuguese art. you see to me, maro is the epitome of modern fado. fado itself as an art is filled with saudade, singing of longing and deepness that can be felt through the tone and words of a song. the music of fado can also sound distinctive since it uses the portuguese guittara, a pear shaped guitar that is very recognizable when its strings are plucked. but maro doesn't sing fado per se, she is not a fado artist, but her music holds the same feeling, the same genuine portuguese feeling that anyone with portuguese roots can attest too. its that feeling of sitting on the beach, looking out at the sunset, while your hair blows in the wind and you're just thinking about life, and the meaning behind it all, the feelings it has gifted you, but also the sadness it has bestowed on you. it hilariously is almost like having an existential crisis in a neautiful place, but also feeling quite content at having the privilege to even feel the good and the bad of your very small part in this world.

so yea, in my very humble opinion maro sings fado of the modern age, she puts her heart and soul into her songs, singing melodically with her beautiful voice. it was a special concert to attend and i was left with both awe and a sense of longing for my people. luckily, her concert introduced me to more portuguese artists, like her opener and bandmate manuel rocha, who classically said he goes by manel, a nickname in portuguese that always made me laugh because all it does is remove one letter, but is still a nickname, and one i know many of back home in canada and portugal.

alas, hearing them sing in portuguese made me realize i miss the language, even if i mostly just heard it in my household growing up in toronto, canada. but i used to go to portugal every year, my parents gifted me with visiting the homeland often and i always cherished that. the last time i was in portugal though was 2025. it was a beautiful trip because i got to take my husband there for the first time. i had not been since 2019, before the pandemic hit, leaving me stranded from a place i very much feel at home, even though my portuguese is broken and i am not fluent in it sadly. but that concert, talking to the merch seller (maro's brother) in portuguese made me think, man i gotta go back soon. its a country that holds so much and doesn't ask for much when you're there as a visitor. it also holds so much pottery it makes sense why ceramics was so easy for me to love, i've been surrounded by it all my life. portuguese tile, pots, plates, bowls, you name it, i have it in my house. so while denver may be a little light on the portuguese culture, i do hold a lot of it in my heart, my name and my household. if you're ever over, in my small apartment, maybe you can count how many galo do barcelos you can find.